I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
