I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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