She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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