I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
