Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
