I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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