Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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