I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
