your parents love me but you hate me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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