And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
