this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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