just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
