Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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