No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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