Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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