I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
