Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
