They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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