Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
