I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
