Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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