I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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