True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
