By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can I color on your dick again?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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