she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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