Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
