I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
