I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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