he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
