Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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