Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
