Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
