Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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