I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
