I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
