"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well I just put wine in my tea
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
