its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
