ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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