is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
