She is in my trunk
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
