I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think people are normalizing furries
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
