she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
