I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
