did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
