You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
