Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
