did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize