Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
