I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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