VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
