I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
