Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
