Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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