I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize