she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
