i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
