One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
