"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
