Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
