Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
