Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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