Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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